Thursday, January 27, 2011

Enargeia revised


I tried to shut out the sound of the other students’ speeches and go over my notes in my head.  But what I had planned to say now sounded like a fifth grade show and tell project, and I couldn’t stop imagining myself in front of the classroom, shaking as I held my notes, every other word caught by an “umm” or a “soo” Every time another student explained something well, I imagined myself doing the exact opposite—starting to speak, forgetting my place, backtracking, shaking, botching a difficult word, shaking some more.   Ok, ok, ok, I could do this.  I just needed to develop an entirely different presentation.  I frantically restructured my notes and began practicing under my breath.  But I was getting disapproving glares from my peers.  “Who was this muttering psycho?” their faces seemed to ask.  No, this wasn’t working!  I had to stick to my original presentation.  But panic had destroyed any memory of my former speech.  A sense of impending doom overcame me, causing me to let out a tiny high-pitched squeal.  Just then, the professor stuck his hand in the hat.  A quick glance at the clock told me that there was time for one more presentation.  My back stiffened, and my eyes widened.  I was a frightened doe, listening for the minute sounds of a predator in the woods.  I stared at the hat, willing the piece of paper with my name on it to run, hide, or destroy itself!  “Ok, who do we got here…” Dr. Jefferson trailed, “James!”  I collapsed with relief onto my desk.  When class ended I went home to really prepare my presentation.

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